We got in our first fight last night. You brought up all these questions asking me how I think it’ll work once you go to collage which is over four hours away. I dont know if Im ready for that. Im still young. I dont want to be tied down to a 19 year old off in collage but Ive fallen for you. It scares me. Sometimes so much I cant stand talking to you but then I miss you. This morning you texted me saying “Im sorry for last night, I hope you’re not mad. If you want to talk I’m here. Have a good day” How am I supposed to answer? Stop showing you care. I dont want to like you, I dont want to be with you but something keeps pulling me back. You interrogate me with questions, then get disappointed when I answer the truth. Im sorry you get jealous easily, Im sorry I judge people. You try to make me a better person when Im not ready for change. Im not ready to understand the fact that you’ll be in collage by August, I wont see you, I’ll meet new people yet I’ll have you. Im scared and confused. You’re more mature and its obvious. I want you but I dont at the same time. Then you bring up my ex and ask me if I still love him. I want to scream out YES. But I know it’ll hurt you. Ive made you fall for me. I have you wrapped around my finger. I care too much to hurt you. But I cant tell you that. I dont want you to have that constant worry in your head that I’ll get back with him. Even though it was almost 8 months ago that we broke up, I love him and I cant let that go. I compare every guy I meet to him. Everything a guy does to him. Every guy I try to be with never works out because he pops into my head. I miss him and I want him. But you’re here and I want you too.